8 Things I Learned About Being An Introspective Introvert That Not Many People Understand. 

FEB 2 2021 | 6 MINS                                                

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

Not all introverts are alike. There are different kinds of introverted personalities and before you assume you know us based on our behavior, we want you to understand what kind of introvert we are before writing us off as socially awkward or distant. Social introverts are often just people who prefer being alone, not because they are shy or anxious but because they want to. Anxious introverts often border on social anxiety they actually feel serious discomfort around crowds and groups of people, which can lead to panic. The restrained introvert is the most common and very similar to the introspective introvert. Restrained introverts are simply selective.  They pick and choose who they give their time to based on energy. So here’s what an introspective introvert needs you to understand about them.

1. We spend most of our time in our heads.

It’s a form of intellectual introversion. They are often very self-aware of the effect their presence has on others which causes them to often appear “in their own world” or distant because they are analyzing if you are prepared for their presence in its raw form.

2. We are not always stuck up or rude, we are simply observant.

We are not stuck up or rude, we are observative. We think before we speak... and then we think again and after we speak we think some more about how our words may have been perceived and often this causes us anxiety and distress so we try to keep the talking to a minimum until we actually know you are not judging us for our often very blunt thinking.

3. We are over-thinkers, which coincides with creativity.

Introspective Introverts are always looking for a way to express themselves better. Because we are extremely self-reflective and aware, we know what comes out of our mouths often is not what we meant to say and our intelligence is constantly underestimated. We can be blunt, but please don’t take our facial expressions personally. Our creative minds often cause us to be less than amused or impressed by small talk, simplicity, or dry humor. It doesn’t mean we aren’t fun, we are just different.

4. We actually hate being alone.

We are just incredibly selective about who we spend our time with like the restrained introvert. But, contrary to belief, we actually enjoy socialization. Introspective introverts while preferably enjoy being alone, enjoy the company of their extroverted friends. Once we are past the awkward stage of getting to know you, if grow to feel comfortable around you we love being around you and can be incredibly transparent around you. 

5. We are incredibly self aware and this is why we are distant.

Social introverts are most commonly known for their preference to spend time alone. Unlike the social introvert, an introspective introvert often avoids people because they are self-aware, not because they don't like being around people. For an introspective introvert balance is important. Sometimes we put too much pressure on others to make us feel comfortable and can be criticized for making others feel they need to “walk on eggshells” around us because of our tendency to overthink others' perspectives when it comes to socialization. Because of this, we feel the need to create a bit of space between appearances and social events.

6. We are great friends, once we trust ourselves around you.

I think it’s important to say, yes it’s about us. We can seem selfish or self-centered. It can be fairly difficult to earn our trust. Our anxious minds often play tricks on us and we perceive things not intended to be as personal attacks. This is why I say it’s about us trusting ourselves with you, and trusting the genuineness of the friendship. If we have to question you in any way we put ourselves at risk of conflict in social situations that we often regret. Just because we don’t see each other every day does mean we aren’t real friends. In short, we just don’t want you to get tired of us, because we know who we are and exactly how we can be.

7. We may ask for advice, but we don’t ask for help.  

Introspective introverts enjoy talking to their trusted friends about their problems because it gives them an opportunity to process the thoughts in their head out loud without feeling like a completely crazy person talking to themselves lol. But don’t confuse this with asking for help. We are overly confident in our ability to make the best sound decision for ourselves, and will almost always make all major decisions independently. We still appreciate your advice, even if we decide not to take it. 

8. We are truly the most thoughtful people you will ever meet, LITERALLY.

We think like... ALOT, yes even about the people closest to us. We make great friends for extroverts because we balance each other out. We are the most outspoken and vocal of our friend group but only shy around ppl we don’t know. We are sensitive and vulnerable. We cannot hide if we don’t like someone or something, so stop trying to force us to. We are aware it takes a special kind of someone to understand us. You get what you see until you see what you can get with us. When we feel supported valued and appreciated that’s when you have earned our trust. At that point, there is often nothing anything or anyone can do to break that, and you're in for a great partner, friend, or confidant in us.

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