T H E M I N D ​M A K E O V E R. O R G By Brandie Janay.

28 Golden Truths I Learned

Before My 28th Birthday!

September 28, 2021 | 4 MINS

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

I turned 28 on the 28th of this month. Some would call this my Golden birthday… whatever that means is up for interpretation. To me, it meant reflecting on what I have learned so far and how much I still have to learn. The value we place on the visual representation of success is so vast, we forget to place any importance on the things we can’t see. The internal growth, the process, and the work not measured by accolades or accomplishments. You know the funny thing about growth and healing is that sometimes we think we have it down pat and that we’ve made it past the worst parts of our lives and ugliest forms of ourselves in the process. But then, life shocks you and some of those parts of yourself you thought you were over are easily resurfaced when we’re triggered. But that’s the thing growth, it doesn’t mean we become strangers with our old selves and our old ways it’s actually the opposite and more about becoming familiar with the ugly parts, why they show up, when they show up and what they are telling us about ourselves. I believe that when we learn we teach and that through self-reflection and creativity we grow. So, on the 28th day of September, I celebrate 28 years of life by sharing 28 truths that are Golden to me.

C O N T I N U E   R E A D I N G . . .

Overthinking: The Worst Controlling Behavior

MAY 7, 2021 | 4 MINS

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

At some point, we have all spent way too long dwelling on something or someone. The mind is powerful and sometimes if we don’t pay enough attention it can cause us to have a very distorted view of ourselves and others. There are several tips and words of advice on how to prevent, minimize or handle overthinking. I think most of those things while helpful frankly don’t seem to provide the most needed relief from the vicious cycle of our own thoughts. It wasn’t until one day I was sharing my thoughts with someone who in turn told me this; “even enjoy anything because you’re always thinking of the worst possible outcome.” These words were a huge eye-opener to me. Perhaps more than any self-help lines or words of advice I had heard before. These were helpful because they forced me to see and acknowledge that most of my overthinking came from a place of defeat.

C O N T I  N  U E   R E A D I N G

What Every Black Therapist Wants Her Potential Black Clients to Know. 

FEB 16, 2021 | 4 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

We have learned from the Black Emotional And Mental Health Collective that “Black people are 7 times more likely to live in areas with limited access to mental health care. There is a shortage of black mental health providers, and only a third of Black people who need mental health services receive treatment.” Every black therapist wants you to know that we hold ourselves to a very different standard than some of our counterparts. We know the struggles of systemic racism and discrimination and the effects it has on mental health personally. We want to encourage people of color to seek out therapeutic intervention as opposed to chucking up certain things as,” just the way it is.” 

C O N T I  N  U E   R E A D I N G

8 Things I Learned About Being An Introspective Introvert That Not Many People Understand. 

FEB 2, 2021 | 6 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

Not all introverts are alike. There are different kinds of introverted personality and before you assume you know us based on our behavior, we want you to understand what kind of introvert we are before writing us off as socially awkward or distant. Social introverts are often just people who prefer being alone, not because they are shy or anxious but because they want to. Anxious introverts often border on social anxiety they actually feel at crowds and groups of people. The restrained introvert is the most common and very similar to the introspective introvert. Restrained introverts are simpler selective they pick and choose who they give their tike energy to based on energy. So here’s what an introspective introvert needs you to understand about them. . .                                                                          

 C O N T I  N  U E   R E A D I N G

I Am More Powerful Than My Fear.

JAN 30, 2021 | 3 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

I can remember the first time I felt real fear. I can remember the first time I felt doubt. I can remember the first time I was praised, and the first time I was criticized. I can remember every time I let my fear get in the way of me pursuing something I really wanted to do. It’s slightly funny to think that anxiety is just excessive fear. That something we feel so naturally can abruptly overpower us and leave us defeated. I was so frequently second-guessing my goals, my plans, and my dreams because of the possible outcome of imperfection. I was always striving for the power to control my own outcomes. . .                                                                             

   C O N T I N U E   R E A D I N G

Maladaptive.

DEC 30, 2020 | 3 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

Maladaptive behaviors inhibit your ability to adjust healthily to particular situations. In essence, they prevent you from adapting or coping well. Lesson two from my mental mirror is called maladaptive due to the several times I failed at EFFECTIVELY coping with my trauma. We all like to feel “healed” and active when working to process negative events. I think this lesson was the most important for me in understanding who I am, and how I process things. I found it incredibly important to ask myself: Is this helping me or simply distracting me. . . 

C O N T I N U E  R E A D I N G

Release.

DEC 17, 2020 | 2 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

The biggest lesson I learned this year was the importance of release. I considered naming this blog let it go… but it didn’t quite describe the message I wanted to share. In fact, I have a bit of a distaste for the phrase “let it go.” It’s almost like telling someone to “get over it.” Which is definitely easier said than done. To me, the release is more than letting something go. . .

C O N T I  N U E   R E A D I N G

My Safe Place.

DEC 6 2020 | 5 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

Where is your safe place? It’s a question that is asked very often in therapy. Where do you feel the safest? When you are little your safe place can often be found in material things: a blanket, a stuffed animal, or anything that made you feel comfort in times of distress. Somewhere along the way to adulthood, I stopped learning a safe place is not material or physical. We move from our favorite stuffed animal and tend to look for people to create a safe space for us. I wanted for a long time for my partner to create a safety net for me. A place for me . . .                                             

C O N T I N U E   R E A D I N G

The Ugly Truth About Closure.

NOV 30, 2020 | 5 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

The need for closure often comes from feeling shut out or rejected and the inability to voice or share how that rejection has served as a traumatic experience in our lives. Yes, rejection is trauma. Heartbreak is trauma. Even deep disappointment is trauma. When someone is rejected and refused honest answers about why; they are left with anger resentment and confusion. . .                                                 

  C O N T I N U E R  E A D I N G

Black Women in Leadership.

NOV 15 2020 | 3 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

What is it like being a black woman in leadership at a predominantly white company? Whew. To start it’s been a challenge. Advancement as a black woman is not always received well by others, especially if others have to watch and witness that growth. I am always putting in the effort to stay true to who I am as a black female while advancing as a professional and remaining effective as a leader. Leadership for me is not about a title, it’s about setting an example. . .                   

C O N T I N U E   R E A D I N G

My People and My Peace.

OCT 27, 2020| 3 MINS                                                                         

Written By Brandie Janay Sanders

How do you stay positive around negative people? Whew, it’s a tough one. Negative people can trigger you in ways that might also make you negative. When you are an over-thinker being around negative people can be toxic. You might start to feel every comment is a personal jab or insult. But the thing about negative people, most of the time their pessimism is unconscious behavior. The last thing you should try and do is change them. The best thing you can do is change how you react to them. Here are three common things a negative person does or says and how you can remain positive in these situations. . .                                                                                   

C O N T I N U E   R E A D I N G

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